The Grooming Process

How it can happen

Online predators frequently seek potential victims in chat rooms and also use IM (Instant Messaging) to strike up online conversations. Any area of the Internet that allow users to communicate with each other can be used by a predator. This includes networking sites like MySpace, online gaming sites, blogs, and photo and video sharing sites. An adult who is seeking children can use the interests and hobbies listed on a child's MySpace page or other online profile to convince the child that he or she has found someone who has similar interests.

Building Trust

After establishing a shared interest, a predator will work build trust by sympathizing with the child. They may invest a lot of time pretending to be a supportive friend and attempting to earn a child's trust. Once the trust is established, the predator may ask the child to keep the relationship secret. The predator may try to drive a wedge between the child and their family. Gifts and flattery may also be used.

Setting Up the Meeting

At some point, the predator will usually engage in phone conversation with the child victim. These conversations will typically lead to an attempt to set up a face-to-face meeting with the child.

Any Child Can be a Victim

Experts warn that any child can be vulnerable to the enticements of an online predator, even a youngster who appears well adjusted and shows no outward signs of trouble. Predators are interested in children regardless of whether they are considered pretty or handsome, and regardless of their race or sex. Most parents believe that their child would tell them about suspicious people they meet online but many children do not, in part because they are afraid they will lose their Internet privileges.1

Click here for warning signs that your child may be at risk online.

1. David Finkelhor, Kimberly J. Mitchell, and Janis Wolak. Online Victimization: A Report on the Nation's Youth. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2000.